broken dreams

You were everything to me. Id wake up to the thought of u, id fall asleep pretending to have ur arms around me and dream of being ur wife and now that dream is shattered. U ripped it out of my heart and crushed it to a million pieces. Yet here u are, begging to put it back together, mend my heart once more u say, but how can u fix something that u cant even see? U cant see how badly I hurt. U cant see the tiny pieces u broke my heart in to. Ur blind to my pain. My insanity. My anger. My bloodlust.

I do remember the happy times. I remember ur smile. The way ur eyes light up when u laugh. Then I remember that im not the only one who was blessed with that smile. Not the only one who kissed ur lips. Not the only who lusted after ur body. And it kills. It’s a million thorns in my heart. a stake knife in the gutt. Vald the impaler would be proud of the stake u stuck in my heart. How could u be so coldhearted? I just don’t get it. I just don’t understand how so much love could be ignored for the sake of a two rupee whore. I don’t get why u would let ur defenses down for someone who could never give u what I did. I stay awake all night wondering what she had. What was so special.. I just don’t get it. Why? Why? Why??? Why wasn’t I good enough? Why didn’t u love me enough? Why?

 I BURN WITH ANGER. Sometimes I just go crazy! i want to draw blood! I want to hurt u as badly as u hurt me! I want to fuck someone just to get u back but when push comes to shove I cant get u out of my head. I CANT GO THROUGH WITH IT! Even though we are not together I STILL CANT DO IT! So how could u???? how could u do it while u had my love? How could u betray me knowing u would loose me? What the hell is the point in u crying now? Dying for me now? Don’t u see its too late? Don’t u see that if I ever want to have a normal life I have to run from u as fast as I can? I want to be free! I want to flirt and be fun again. I want to feel sexy and wanted. I want sex to be fun and not a competition to the best among 36. And I can never have that with u. I will forever hold on to the image of u telling another u love her. So pls respect me enough not to say it to me now. Don’t call me names u called her. U lost the right to love me when u said those words to her. U lost the right to my love and respect. U were my hero my angel my everything. And now ur just another person who took me for granted. And I know I deserved better than what u gave me.

now u don’t have the right to ask for my love again.

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